Tonight was a great night at BSSM Atlanta. Because of a function going on at OM we couldn't meet in our normal room. We met only as 1st year and we were in the small chapel located downstairs. Now this is considerably smaller than the worship center that we are used to. We were pretty packed in there. We had a sweet intimate time of worship, it was great.
Now a couple of times in worship Tracy Cooper has come around with a mike and had people sing prophetically on the spot. Everytime she did this I was like oh, my what if she picks me. The first time I was freaked out, and then the second time I was like well this wouldn't be so bad. Well we've not done that for about 3 weeks now. So tonight, we had a lot of just instrumental parts of the song "Freedom Reigns". Everybody is really singing and getting into it,really releasing freedom, it was awesome. I'm thinking to myself, wow I really hope they do the spontaneous prophetic song, because I wanted to be picked, I was totally ready. A few minutes later the worship leader says that they are going to open the mike to people that feel like stepping out and embracing the freedom in the room. As soon as she said that my heart just starts racing because I know that its partly for me. I didn't move. A few minutes later Scott gets up and says how we all were just singing and as soon as she opened the mike up everyone got quiet, and no one moved. Well this older man who is really amazing, Tom, got up and sang then a few more people, it was really freeing just watching these people worship. It was like stepping into their prayer closet and just enjoying them worship Jesus. As all of this is going on my palms are sweating and I'm trying to come up with words to put together as a song. I'm getting nothing. It all just keeps changing. After about 10 people or so, I finally got the nerve to step out to the aisle behind this guy who had started a line down the middle. AS soon as I got out there, it was weird because I was kind of nervous but at the same time the presence of God was so strong I could hardly stand up. The guy that sang before me did such a wonderful job my eyes were tearing up, and I'm thinking great, I can't even start singing without crying.
I walked up and took the mike, I turned toward the side of the room. I had my eyes closed so it didn't really matter where I was facing. I just starting with a little ohhs and ahhs, no words, and then it just flowed out of my mouth. I sang to Jesus, it was just me and HIM. There were no other people in the room to me. I was so lost in HIM. I sang about being on the edge of a cliff. and just to step off and fly, and then fun into HIS arms, HIS arms of Love, and that He would just hold me Close. And I just broke, I just started crying. I basically sang it to my self. About how He loves me, and I am His daughter and I'm just like Him and I love him and I will love him for all the days of my life.
It was the best moment of my life. I didn't think about anyone else.
I truly believe that that was just for me.(I'll be selfish)
I really needed that. It was so freeing.
So for all the thought I took into trying to formulate a song, didn't really matter, because HE gave me the words as I opened my mouth.
It was such an amazing experience.
So instead of being picked out of the crowd to sing, I had to take the step to go up and take the mike and sing. I'm kind of glad it worked out that way because I needed to take that step out and get over the nerves and just let Jesus shine through me the way I really want Him to and the way I really know He does, and that is through my voice.
After that Judy Franklin came up and told us more stories, and then we all had encounters and went to heaven. It was awesome. I'll write about it tomorrow night after the next session. :)
Good night friends.
Love love love!!!
-Lovely, beautiful cute. Erin
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
~Adventures~
Wow, today is November 15. I cannot believe that it is half way through the month of November. Next month is December and then its 2010.. How weird does that sound.
This past month has been an amazing journey. I've moved into a two bedroom apartment with my friend and co-worker Christianna. My best friend Joshlynn was here to visit, I went home to visit my friends and family!!! And throughout all that I've really come to grow into who the Lord has really made me to be.
Today at church we had a guest speaker, Judy Franklin, who is Bill Johnson's personal assistant basically. She was just so real. it was great. I could fully relate because I feel like since I've moved down here, that I'm really really becoming my own person. Everyday is my own, its just me and Jesus. I've been put in a place that's not always comfortable. Everyone at church doesn't know me, which is what I've been used to. I'm fully becoming the person that God has created me to be and its awesome. There have been a few rough patches but its been worth it. So at any rate Judy talked this morning about this vision that she had one time when she was taken to heaven. God was walking with her down this gold brick laid path and there were these little obstacles. She walked over to them and just looked at them, then they continued to walk. Then she would turn around to look at these obstacles because they just kept getting bigger. He said, "Don't look at the obstacles, they will continue to get bigger, then they may grow to stop you in the path that I have laid out for you." He then began to show her the different paths of other people. Every path looks different....
Each and every person is called to different things. You may be called to be a Doctor while I am called to be a worship leader. It doesn't matter. Do what God has called you to do. If you begin to walk on someone elses path, you are inhibiting them from being able to do what GOD has given them the grace to be, and He has not given you the grace to do.
This really hit me because this applies also to more than just life callings but also our gifts. I believe my gift is hospitality, and singing. I don't have a strong gift for evangelism, or praying for people. I love on people. And that is okay! I walk where God has put for me to walk. There is such a freedom in that. It is actually a sin for me to feel guilty that I don't walk where so and so walks. It is a sin for me to believe that my hospitality gift isn't as good as your gift of evangelism or your gift of relating to people. GOD LOVES ME right where I am at. I just keep my gaze fixed on HIM. He is the one I'm after. I only please HIM.
People, but me especially get so caught up in judging things that we do. We've come up with a scale of rating testimonies, like if its not some big healing than it is not worthy of being shared. That is not true. My testimony of me actually talking to someone and being able to share with them the Love of God is just the same as someone else praying for someone their leg growing out. That may be there gifting, the Gift of Healing. where mine is not so why do I expect to have that sort of testimony. My gift is Love, so that is where we will see fruit in me is through love and loving on other people.
What has God called you to do? Where is your path going?
Judy also challenged us to take sometime to just sit and rest in the presence and ask God to come and give us a hug.
I was just online chatting and playing around on Facebook and then I was watching TV which I don't do much of, and I couldn't find anything so, I looked up a spontaneous song that Jenn Johnson sang on youtube, and I just laid back and the presence of God was so thick right around me it was crazy. He is so faithful and loving and GOOD. GOD IS SO GOOD.
I've learned so much about myself recently. Living on my own I've really come to learn who God has created me to be. I am a beautiful young, mature woman who Loves the Lord, who loves people, loves to dance, sing, laugh, and brings joy to people. I can't tell you the number of times I've been told that I'm cute, beautiful, fun to be around and that my laugh is contagious.
That is so life producing. I'm not even trying to be funny, or to be cute. Honestly the past few weeks, I've not really felt that way. I've got this ridiculous haircut that I didn't even really like once I first got it, that I'm sort of growing a custom to, that everyone else seems to like.. haha go figure.
but its so encouraging. I believe that I'm becoming more beautiful because I'm becoming the woman that God has created me to be. I'm becoming HIS beautiful Beloved.
That is who I am.
- His Beautiful Beloved
This past month has been an amazing journey. I've moved into a two bedroom apartment with my friend and co-worker Christianna. My best friend Joshlynn was here to visit, I went home to visit my friends and family!!! And throughout all that I've really come to grow into who the Lord has really made me to be.
Today at church we had a guest speaker, Judy Franklin, who is Bill Johnson's personal assistant basically. She was just so real. it was great. I could fully relate because I feel like since I've moved down here, that I'm really really becoming my own person. Everyday is my own, its just me and Jesus. I've been put in a place that's not always comfortable. Everyone at church doesn't know me, which is what I've been used to. I'm fully becoming the person that God has created me to be and its awesome. There have been a few rough patches but its been worth it. So at any rate Judy talked this morning about this vision that she had one time when she was taken to heaven. God was walking with her down this gold brick laid path and there were these little obstacles. She walked over to them and just looked at them, then they continued to walk. Then she would turn around to look at these obstacles because they just kept getting bigger. He said, "Don't look at the obstacles, they will continue to get bigger, then they may grow to stop you in the path that I have laid out for you." He then began to show her the different paths of other people. Every path looks different....
Each and every person is called to different things. You may be called to be a Doctor while I am called to be a worship leader. It doesn't matter. Do what God has called you to do. If you begin to walk on someone elses path, you are inhibiting them from being able to do what GOD has given them the grace to be, and He has not given you the grace to do.
This really hit me because this applies also to more than just life callings but also our gifts. I believe my gift is hospitality, and singing. I don't have a strong gift for evangelism, or praying for people. I love on people. And that is okay! I walk where God has put for me to walk. There is such a freedom in that. It is actually a sin for me to feel guilty that I don't walk where so and so walks. It is a sin for me to believe that my hospitality gift isn't as good as your gift of evangelism or your gift of relating to people. GOD LOVES ME right where I am at. I just keep my gaze fixed on HIM. He is the one I'm after. I only please HIM.
People, but me especially get so caught up in judging things that we do. We've come up with a scale of rating testimonies, like if its not some big healing than it is not worthy of being shared. That is not true. My testimony of me actually talking to someone and being able to share with them the Love of God is just the same as someone else praying for someone their leg growing out. That may be there gifting, the Gift of Healing. where mine is not so why do I expect to have that sort of testimony. My gift is Love, so that is where we will see fruit in me is through love and loving on other people.
What has God called you to do? Where is your path going?
Judy also challenged us to take sometime to just sit and rest in the presence and ask God to come and give us a hug.
I was just online chatting and playing around on Facebook and then I was watching TV which I don't do much of, and I couldn't find anything so, I looked up a spontaneous song that Jenn Johnson sang on youtube, and I just laid back and the presence of God was so thick right around me it was crazy. He is so faithful and loving and GOOD. GOD IS SO GOOD.
I've learned so much about myself recently. Living on my own I've really come to learn who God has created me to be. I am a beautiful young, mature woman who Loves the Lord, who loves people, loves to dance, sing, laugh, and brings joy to people. I can't tell you the number of times I've been told that I'm cute, beautiful, fun to be around and that my laugh is contagious.
That is so life producing. I'm not even trying to be funny, or to be cute. Honestly the past few weeks, I've not really felt that way. I've got this ridiculous haircut that I didn't even really like once I first got it, that I'm sort of growing a custom to, that everyone else seems to like.. haha go figure.
but its so encouraging. I believe that I'm becoming more beautiful because I'm becoming the woman that God has created me to be. I'm becoming HIS beautiful Beloved.
That is who I am.
- His Beautiful Beloved
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
